King Nothing

Venus

It officially started on the 5th of June at precisely 10.09pm GMT.
It officially ended on the 6th of June at precisely 4.49am GMT.
It was one of the most excessively bittersweet sentimental experiences of my life.

NASA Goddard Photo

The transit of Venus is a phenomenon that happens when the planet Venus passes directly between the sun and earth. During the transit, Venus can be seen as a small black dot moving across the face of the sun. It's similar in principal to the solar eclipse by the moon, only since the moon is much closer to earth it looks a lot bigger. This rare phenomenon, which always happens in pairs eight years apart, occurs just once every 100 or so years. The first of the pair in the 21st century happened back in 2004 and the second happened a couple of days ago.

Venus is the second planet from the sun. It is named after the Roman Goddess of love and beauty, probably because it is the brightest object in the night sky, after the moon. The astronomical symbol of the planet Venus is the same that it used to denote the female sex. It is also the symbol for copper in ancient western alchemy. Historically, polished copper was the metal used to make mirrors, and the symbol for Venus has sometimes been understood to stand for the mirror of the goddess. Planet Venus is also the sign ruler of the second astrological sign in the zodiac, Taurus.

Venus Anadyomene, by Titian (1525)

Venus, in Roman mythology, is identified as the equivalent of Aphrodite in Greek mythology. She embodies enticement, seduction, and persuasive female charm among the community of immortal Gods. She also absorbs and restrains the male essence, uniting the opposites of male and female in mutual affection.

For the past couple of days, I was completely ravished with the bittersweet mysticism of my Venus memories. The uneasy and highly self-aware introduction, the instinctual yet unplanned first triumph, the velvety and heavenly-elating touch, the distinct and soul-captivating smell, the nectarous and desire-fulfilling taste, the rhythmic and throbbing encounters that still resonate in my cells till this very minute, but also the withdrawal, the cruel sudden absence, the obligatory weaning, the circumstantial verdict that reduced the Venus live-power influence to fragmentary-stored imaginations.

I miss Venus.
I guess I'll just blame it on the eclipse.

Mottephobia

Is a moth naive hurling itself towards a candle light?
Did it waste its life as it expires in the flame?
Well, yeah.
But that’s only one way of looking at it.

A moth is drawn to light. Light is warmth and brightness. It’s purity and innocence. It’s clarity and transparency. I praise a moth for seeking light. I praise it for its instinctual desire to reach a higher level of existence. I praise it for its quest to rid itself of darkness, for its refusal to settle down with the shade.

Yes, it dies. Once it touches that flame, it expires. But what doesn’t! Every living thing dies. Every living thing has an end. This is the only rule of life. This is the only certainty in the world. At least the moth dies in glory. At least it achieves its goal. It acquires warmth and purity. Is there a better ending to a life?

We are the same. We seek light and search for warmth and purity. We desire clarity and transcendence. We would rather live in a radiant world of glow and affection, than a gloomy world of darkness and loneliness. Unfortunately most of us don’t have enough willpower and courage to actively pursue such an ultimate quest. Most of us settle down with whatever we’re given by our fortunes. Most of us fear living like a moth.

If I had wings, I would fly towards the sun just as a moth flies towards a flame. I would never stop until I reach my destination. I would sacrifice my physical being to such a meaningful and spirited end.

Haphazard

It's not like it used to be. It's not important anymore. The 'why?' doesn't even matter. The distance between me and what's familiar is growing so fast I don't see the shore no more. The world that I created for myself, and kept deep inside me, is free falling into a deep pit of secrecy and into oblivion. I don't know how I will face myself with that truth. Will I ever forgive myself?

I know nothing stays the same. My soul is about to find that out, though, for the first time. In the cruelest of ways. I used to be good with imagination but it seems I need to find a new insight, a new messenger to self communicate. I'm not fond of wearing a fake gown of mystery or complication. I'm not that bored with reality no matter how much it stinks. I no longer look for challenges to feel alive. I miss that. Perhaps I'm not interested in reaching down and exploring my inner feelings anymore. Standing still is actually bringing me a sense of comfort and security. So unlike me.

I interact with my keyboard more than ever because it's not demanding. It doesn't accuse me of being stubborn. It doesn't give me a smirk and tell me 'I told you so'. It doesn't judge my thoughts. It understands me without me having to explain myself. It feels my pain by a clicking sound with every press of a key. A clicking sound that speaks to my soul telling me not to worry. Telling me the pain will go away one day.

I need to separate. I need to get away from my inner self for a while. I need to. Disuniting me from my details and parting me from my privacy. May be one day I'd look back and just laugh at how much a fool I was. May be by missing who I am for a while, I'd return with a newly found eagerness to interact and engage. May be even return with a big celebration where we'd toss drinks, dance and cherish a random diamond ring.

Fantasy

I'm lying in my bed, feeling naughty. Quietly, she walks in the room. I didn't even hear her coming in. She takes a couple of steps towards me and then stops, standing at the edge of the bed. She looks me right in the eyes and starts speaking.

"Take off my blouse."
I take off her blouse.
"Take off my skirt."
I take off her skirt.
"Take off my bra and panties."
I take them off.

A brief few moments pass by, as she's standing there in front of me. She then breaks the silence and in a soft yet firm voice says, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

Mental Suicide Note..

Don't kill me..
Don't kill the sentiment..
Don't kill the delicate..
Don't judge me, I used to believe in change..
Don't judge me, not even for my rage..
This is the era of pain and short breath..
This is the era of burning fires in the chest..
Time will soon stop, the earth will refuse to rotate..
Time will soon stop, the sun will look to relocate..

None will be spared..
Not a master or a slave..
Everything will go to the grave..
No one will stop the erosion..
No one will have any emotion..
The ships of hope are forever lost at sea..
The ships of hope can't sail in zero degree..
ladies and gentlemen, the end is near..
ladies and gentlemen, any volunteer?..

I did shout..
I did shout using loud metal harps..
I did shout calling on human hearts..
The theater of life is full of irony..
The theater of life is full of tyranny..
The sky is raining out of hunger..
The sky is torn apart with thunder..
Questions came in large supply..
Questions roared with no reply..

We were wrong..
We were so wrong cuz we didn't learn..
Our elders told us but we weren't concerned..
They said look out, love is under attack..
They said if it's gone, it ain't coming back..
Their voices full of fear rang aloud..
Their voices were ignored by the crowd..
Now we believe what they said was true..
Now we believe their words, overdue..

I will cry..
I will cry until I choke on my own tears..
I will cry until I deafen your ears..
Whoever's up there, can you hear me?..
Whoever's up there, I'm on my knees..
Where is your promised mercy?..
Where is it, if it's worthy?..
I'm writing this as I hear the approaching flood..
I'm writing this with my blood..

iCloud

The visible beauty of a pristine mass of cotton-candy clouds. Lacking any definite plan or order and governed by chance, they present an ever-changing yet steady stream of softness to life. 

A pure and untouched saturation of air with water vapor in the atmosphere molded by the flawlessly tender hands of the wind.  

A so common yet so valuable source of renewable spiritual energy
encircling the rugged earth with a fluffy cushion, spreading pleasure to the senses of those who appreciate.   
  

Satanic Profanum

<>

we are intruders in the fog.. looking for blurred-out images.. individuals chained to dusty memories.. that are not even ours any more.. we try to find, among those grey and undefined outlines, a sharper figure.. a hint in the vague horizon.. even if undefined as it might be.. and as we approach the truth, tripping over the rigid branches of fate or the slippery weeds of destiny, we only discover faces that are not even real.. just anonymous..

we are innocently naive.. we think good is inevitable.. but those who carry it are damned.. those who deliver it are cursed.. and those who receive it are forever chained together by the myth of sweet-tasting poison.. what an unbalanced path when we always have to lose.. 

<>

you rubbish crooks.. you useless apostles.. spread your pestilence with those dirty hands that are eager to relish every rotten soul.. those toxic tongues.. those black wings of ill omen.. you wait in silence at the top of peaks

ignorant of your choice of venomous actions.. 

you insult butterflies with your multicolored morals.. trailers of forgotten springs.. pay attention to the insult you profess through your true dark colors.. you should wear mourning clothes.. you should have your wings at half-mast.. all you do is provoke rage with your iconoclasm.. with your insulting perfume that destroys the now useless respect of red-brick mausoleums.. the hand of punishment will fall upon you.. and it will be justified by a hundred official bulletins.. with words that are more empty than your mindless habits..

<>

after all, the announcing of the prices will soon follow.. the prices of colorful silk ties, covered with symmetrical blood stain.. of patent leather shoes tainted with the scent of betrayal.. and when we pay our dues.. may be one of these days.. once the crippling autumn is gone.. we'd find a clear passage.. to the true but candid spring..

amen

Inspired by Norman Mailer's The Naked and the Dead.
Featured in Historia Sexual de O (1984).

that awkward moment..

sometimes you realize you're losing.. and that you're losing because you keep making the wrong decisions.. and that you make the wrong decisions because of your twisted personality.. that same personality that was once your source of pride..

ironic, in an awkward way..
having your strength be your reason for defeat..

life has this amazing ability to humble us in more ways than we can imagine.. its limitless yet seemingly justifiable unfairness, which is the main reason behind nicknaming it 'bitch', is really not the ironic part here.. you can face unfairness, depending of course on the extent of your tolerance threshold.. it all comes down to believing that you deserve better.. and such gut feeling will most probably stir something inside of you that will induce courage, willingness, and perseverance.. it will somehow make you see things though this glass of self-confidence.. and sometimes that's all that's required to pull through..

been there, done that..
yet, this is not one of those times..

no matter how tough it goes and how hard it is for you to struggle it, when you overcome an unfairness and you pull through, wow it's just an amazing feeling.. it's actually rewarding.. you feel you did it.. you over came the fate daemons in their own game.. for a certain moment there you feel invincible.. you feel like standing firm in the face of life and shout, "bring it on bitch".. 
life on the other hand is probably standing there thinking, "i'll let you have this one, i'll let you feel invincible for a moment, but we'll see who has the last laugh"..

life knows..
life always has the last laugh..

i believe the last thing we hear before we leave this living world and crossover to the virtual existence that follows is life's echoing hahas of victory.. 


now comes the awkward moment that led to me writing this..


i can actually hear them now..
guess it's time to say my last prayers..

Wolf & I

My latest music obsession has been 'Oh Land'. A Danish singer who's real name is Nanna Øland Fabricius. She's born to a music-loving couple, as her dad is an organist and her mum is an opera singer. She, herself, is a former student of the Royal Danish and Royal Swedish ballet schools.

This background of music talent and discipline, mixed together to form a unique creative soul that touches you with her simplicity and expressiveness.

Her official website is awesome as well.

Wolf and I

in the endless sky we are but one

in my dreams

wolf and i

before the world you know was like it is

i held a lover once and i was his

and we walked along the river in the sun

but he's a lonely man

so this was done

the only place we had to meet is night

while the sun he sleeps in shadows we can hide

on the mountain side we spend our time together

but it is gone

when morning comes

and you are the wolf

and i am the moon

and in the endless sky we are but one

we are alive

in my dreams

wolf and i

how many days and nights will come and go

while the only light you'll see is from my glow

there will never be a dawn that breaks the spell surrounding us

till the earth

dies with the sun

and you are the wolf

and i am the moon

and in the endless sky we are but one

we are alive

in my dreams

wolf and i

you are the wolf

and i am the moon

and in the endless sky we are but one
we are alive

in my dreams

wolf and i

in the endless sky we are but one

in my dreams

wolf and i

The Jack Kevorkian of love..

3 hours to midnight.. on the last day of the year.. next year is a few minutes away and i'm here in my room, alone, looking at a mirror, feeling nothing..

a year went by.. with all the good and all the bad.. but it was mostly the bad that hung on and had an effect.. a year went by.. and all i can recall are hard times.. a year went by.. it feels like one long dream that was close to being a nightmare.. only it didn't stun me into a snap wakeup, and just kept on going.. a year went by.. and here i am, right where i was, right where i deserve to be.. right where i'm meant to be according to the fate and destiny gods..

time is not meaningless, but it is in my case.. time, they say, can be the only medicine, or at least a painkiller, but in my case it was the salt added to the bleeding wound.. time, a year to be exact, and still i feel every bit of sadness and sorrow.. to the extent that i don't really feel anything anymore.. time turned me emotionless..

now i have to go through another year. and then another.. and it goes on.. time goes on and nothing seems to stop it.. not even the meaningless and emptiness of life..

i'm standing there, looking at me in the mirror.. not feeling anything.. or maybe i am but i just don't see it.. maybe that's why i'm looking at the mirror.. trying to see.. there's another me over there.. and i just hold this tiny piece of hope that maybe he's happy.. maybe in his world he has a chance.. maybe life on the other side is indeed greener.. that's the least i expect if this life had any sense of fairness or sympathy.. let him be happy.. and let me see that in him every time i look in a mirror.. don't take that away from me.. it's all i have left..

bye 2010.. welcome 20xx

UPDATE: RIP Jack Kevorkian

Author Unknown

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, 
even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it..

Subconscious Subtitles

The subconscious is powerful. It has the ability to control human beings. What a bold statement to open a small article with, but bare with me. What is the subconscious? Well, there is no exact definition for it really. In fact, the first few lines of the 'subconscious' page on wikipedia read, “the term subconscious is used in many different contexts and has no single or precise definition. This greatly limits its significance as a definition-bearing concept, and in consequence the word tends to be avoided in academic and scientific settings.” You see, it's so intangible we can't even define it, and I think this is the source of its power.

To start understanding the subconscious, and its power, it's a good idea to first understand the conscious. Conscious is probably best defined as our awareness of any subjective, or objective, experience in any given time. It's what gives us our personal identity. We experience everything using our five senses, and those experiences are each given a specific meaning unique to everyone of us depending on our beliefs, values, and mentality. It's a process were we absorb variables in a scientifically-tangible manner and then transfer them to an intangible medium in our minds for storage and future retrieval. It's something we never stop involuntarily doing as long as we live. In that sense, having another parallel subprocess seems impossible, even crazy. Can there possibly be anything out there that is NOT part of our endless conscious process? There, lies the mystery of the subconscious (note that 'lies' can have two meanings in this context – both r equally appropriate, I guess).

Now, we can start understanding the subconscious. As opposed to conscious, 'awareness' is definitely not part of it. Neither does it involve absorbing experiences through our senses. Simply because anything that falls in those categories would then be considered part of the conscious process. What else is there? What can seize falling into one of those categories? Well, a lot actually! How many times have you heard, and casually used, mysterious and inexplicable notions such as 'the sixth sense' or the '4th dimension' or a 'haunted house' or 'voodoo' or 'angels & demons', etc. True or not, understandable or not, proven or not, there are things around us that don't really fall in the realm of the conscious. I personally believe, and I might be swimming in dangerous waters here, that religion is the biggest aspect of our human existence that is based, to its core, on non-conscious beliefs.

The most obvious playground for the subconscious is dreams. I often think of dreams as the subtitles omitted from our waking life. But instead of transcribing or narrating the obvious, it's all about the ambiguous and the obscure. When we are in deep sleep, we sometimes reach the phase scientifically called the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) phase. This is where the subconscious completely takes control, I think, and starts reading between the lines of our lives totally unsupervised by our cognitive ability or personal identity. It's during this phase where we experience a sort of vivid and disassociated form of imagination that is so intense it almost feels alive. Everything and anything is possible then, but surprisingly it all seem so real. If you've ever had that one dream of flying high and watching everything speeding underneath you, then you'd know what I mean. It just feels so real. It has been scientifically proven that during the REM phase, the release of certain neurotransmitters are completely suspended, resulting in an inability to move, which in turn prevents us from having dangerously sudden movements during our sleep. I can distinctly recall a couple of times when that system failed me, where I woke up with a sudden violent shock movement of my whole body. This is how powerful it is. Our bodies had to have a system solely designed to prevent us from responding to such subconscious dreams, and in my case and I guess few others as well, it was so powerful it actually overcame that system.

So, if you think that my opening statement about the subconscious is a rather overstatement, just think of the magnitude of power you would have if you discover or invent a device that can influence people's dreams, inception-style.

.......

Anonymus Quotes (and interpretations)

Liberals are broadminded, but don't u hate them when they sometimes give careful consideration to both sides of the same side..

Nobody knows, for sure, the age of the human race.. but everybody agrees that it's old enough to know better..

Going to a mosque (church) doesn't make you muslim (christian).. just like standing in a garage all day doesn't make you a car..

Don't be hard on urself all the time, even a broken clock is right twice a day..

Experts are the people who get to know more and more about less and less.. but eventually they turn useless when they get to know everything about nothing..

Good intentions are not enough.. having a heart of gold is only like being a hard-boiled egg..

Love is not about finding the perfect person.. it's about learning how to see the imperfect person, perfect..

If you know you're walking on thin ice, then u might as well dance..

What goes up, must come down.. ask any windows system administrator..

I couldn't beat my computer at chess.. so i tried kickboxing..

Freedom is a combo meal, it comes with responsibilities and consequences..

A good salesman is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually start to look forward for the trip..

It's really not a coincidence that man's best friend can't talk..

It's really ironic that in all weddings, the bride doesn't get to marry the best man..

Something i got from the movies; if you're in the wrong place in the wrong time, there's a pretty good chance u'll walk away a hero..

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity..

There are 3 kinds of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't..

People should be reminded that 'someday' is not really a day..


They say, waking up early is good.. but it's really much better to wake up late and be wide awake, than wake up early and be sleepy all day..

They say, laziness is bad.. but ain't efficiency an intelligent form of laziness..

They say, live everyday as if it were your last.. and then one day you'll be right..

They say, money can't buy happiness.. but it sure can rent it for a lifetime..

They say, look at the bright side.. but doesn't that cause some sort of eyestrain..

They say, dreams can come true.. well, WAKE UP!!

They say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. well, beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder..

They say, age brings wisdom.. but sometimes it just comes alone..


have a nice day :)

a sleepless night..

(1)
losing someone is terrible.. or at least that's what they say (personally, i've lost my normal share of people in live but i guess i'm living in denial).. and it's not about how u lost them really.. i mean, whether they get a job abroad and leave, or get hit by a bus traveling at 90km/h in the opposite direction of a 1 way street, or as a result of a break up, it's all the same conclusion, they're gone!!.. but u see, it's the who that matters.. the someone u lose, that's the whole issue.. we lose people we know everyday (cuz obviously, u can't lose strangers).. we lose people we already know.. and i'm not talking about the ones we meet one time and never see again.. no, not when a friend says, 'hi, i'd like u to meet my friend blablabla' and we shake hands having the 'nice to meet u' smile on our faces.. we don't lose those.. so who do we lose?.. we only lose the close ones.. the important ones.. ironic, isn't it?.. and the closer and more important they are, the more terrible it is to lose them..

(2)
basically, all human beings seek happiness.. it's our no.1 goal in life.. if u strip any goal we try to achieve in life to it's basics, u'll always find that it for happiness.. we live to be happy.. everything we do, is ultimately to make us feel happy.. and so, we fall in love to be happy.. 'love' and 'happy' are 2 words that are really easy to include in a sentence(on the contrary, think of 'love' and 'murder' for instance).. i think it's common that the first word that would pop up in anyone's mind as soon as they hear the word 'happy' is the word 'love'.. but it doesn't really make sense.. i mean, love doesn't equal happiness.. ok, i'm not saying that it equals sadness either, but it's a 50 50 chance.. 'graduation' or 'alot of money' would be more fitting with 'happiness' i guess.. i mean, we fall in love and there's just the same chance we would be happy or sad.. the greatest love story of mankind ends with both lovers dead!!.. still, people seek happiness and they mistake love as a synonymous for happiness.. as a result, divorce rates are doubling by the year..

(3)
when we don't have any guarantees, how can we choose?.. when nothing is certain and all is probable, how do we choose?.. is it a gut feeling that makes us decide?.. i mean, common sense dictates that in order to make a decision, we need some sort of assurance.. this little tiny gut feeling that can actually make us get up and say, 'this is my decision'.. we still don't know for sure, but it gives us a motive to decide.. we can take blinking decisions on small stuff, for sure, but i'm talking about the major stuff in life here.. like choosing a career, not where to go for dinner this evening.. education, work, marriage, money are the major stuff i'm talking about.. and each of us has decided on at least 1 major issue in our lives, and more to come.. but how can we do that?.. how can we choose when we don't know the outcome.. when we're not sure.. we take decisions everyday without knowing for sure whether they are right or wrong.. whether we will benifit from them or we'll suffer.. from choosing what to wear in the morning to choosing which of the 2 job offers to pick.. we make decisions everyday, and it just feels like a big life-long lottery game.. oh, what r the odds of wining the lottery again?

(4)
loneliness is the only felling i can think of that can crush the human soul.. feeling that u're all alone in this world is the only feeling i can think of that would reduce our souls to vapor.. when we're feeling lonely it's as if time had stopped, while life itself just keeps going on.. we feel alive just cuz we're involuntarily breathing.. just because our hearts r involuntarily beating.. it crushes the soul, i tell u.. it crushes the soul..


with all that said..
i'm still gonna give life another try..

Annie Hall

A Tribute to one of the best movies I have ever seen..

the starting scene is an abrupt closeup of Alvy (Woody Allen) doing the following monologue...

There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of them says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and such.. small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness.. and it's all over much too quickly. The other important joke for me is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx, but I think it appears originally in Freud's Wit and its Relation to the Unconscious. And it goes like this -I'm paraphrasing, "I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life in terms of my relationships with women. You know, lately the strangest things have been going through my mind, 'cause I turned forty, and I guess I'm going through a life crisis or something, I don't know. I, uh.. and I'm not worried about aging. I'm not one of those characters, you know. Although I'm balding slightly on top, that's about the worst you can say about me. I, uh, I think I'm gonna get better as I get older, you know? I think I'm gonna be the balding virile type, you know, as opposed to say the, uh, distinguished gray, for instance, you know? Unless I'm neither of those two. Unless I'm one of those guys with saliva dribbling out of his mouth who wanders into a cafeteria with a shopping bag screaming about socialism.

(Sighing)
Annie and I broke up and I still can't get my mind around that. You know, I keep sifting the pieces of the relationship through my mind and examining my life and tryin' to figure out where did the screw-up come, you know. A year ago we were.. in love. You know, and it's funny, I'm not.. I'm not a morose type. I'm not a depressive character. I -I, uh, you know, I was a reasonably happy kid, I guess.

the ending scene is of Alvy and Annie (Diane Keaton) shaking hands and friendly kissing each other goodbye. Annie crosses the street while Alvy watches her go. He then turns and slowly walks down the street, off the screen, while his voice narrates the following monologue...

After that it got pretty late and we both hadda go, but it was great seeing Annie again, right? I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke, you know, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother is crazy. He thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" And the guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much how I feet about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and.. but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, most of us need the eggs.

Annie Hall (1977) written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman.

Makeup.. or break up?

when it comes to makeup, u're the expert.. u're the makeup artist.. yes it's an artistry to use some products to disguise the truth.. the ugly truth.. and make it socially acceptable.. maybe even plausible and recommended..

but what if the makeup is shaken off?.. washed off?.. what if the ugly truth is revealed?.. but not because u failed in applying ur makeup, no.. and not because u chose to reveal the truth, no.. not even because u felt guilty with all the disguise and lies, no.. not because u think it's wrong to fool the closest people to u, no.. not because of all that.. just because u were unlucky once.. just because the ugly truth cannot hide silently forever.. just because things like destiny and fate intervene in our daily life without us noticing.. the end result is, no makeup would do now.. once the truth is out there, it cannot be disguised anymore.. once it's out there, not even a creative makeup artist like u could mask it..

i've been fooled.. but i'm not an idiot..
which should make answering this question quite easy..
should i makeup, or break up?

horny

yeah u love me
yeah u care about me
yeah u make me happy
u do it all
and just for me
but oh, i'm horny..

i enjoy ur presence
i kinda depend on it
u actually fulfilled my desires
when u cured my sexual insecurities
but i'm still horny

u think i'm beautiful
u see me sexy
u prove it with ur touch
when we r making love
but it just makes me feel more horny

there r others out there
they r worth the try
but what can i do
i'm stuck with u
i love u, i do
but they all desire me
which makes it even harder
for me to resist
cuz u see
it makes me feel good
it makes me feel free
and what can i do
since i'm so horny

u're mine, i'm urs
and the way i see it
i'm not doing wrong
i'm just exploring
so why be mad
if u just know
that i'm so horny

i didn't cheat
or maybe i did
but u don't know
or maybe u do
but it's just me
i know it's me
it's like a disease
i can't escape
and i won't try
cuz it feels so good
to be desired
and at the end of the day
u will be there
waiting for me
embracing me
and if u ask
i know i'll say
i'm just horny

a n a

me..
i'm the one among you..
who have suffered but not complained..
who felt the pain but did not cry..
who had his heart beat up and bruised from agony but never lost faith..

yeah, me..
i'm the one among you..
who didn't give up..
who was not defeated..
who had enough will and gut to carry on..

but what does that make me?
a hero..
a champ..
an idol..
or just a man..
a man who suffers every single day..
a man who takes the brutal beating of life every single day..
a man torn with pain knowing that if he lives for tomorrow, it's just to feel the pain again..
every damn single mother fuckin day..

yeah that's me..
that's more like it..
that's the filthy bitter truth..

there ain't no heros in this kinda life..
only men torn by the bloodthirsty animal-like life, who don't have the luxury of getting killed..

me..