trouble... with myself..

yeah i'm having trouble with myself.. and it's the worst kinda trouble anyone could ever experience.. specially for someone who lives and breaths freedom and independence.. i have so much hate for the outside world.. i have so much hate for people.. for fate.. for life.. for everything.. i cannot cope.. i'm trying and i have always been trying.. i had flops before and now i'm having another.. but this time it's different.. this time i am different.. this time i'm holding it in.. i'm not letting it go.. i want to let it go.. i want to lose it but i can't.. it's eating me inside.. and i can't do anything about it.. god, i feel so weak..