so, who am i?.. what a thought!!.. i've been wondering about that probably since i was born.. well ok, at least since i started shitting on my own.. throughout my life, i've discovered many interesting facts about the world we live in.. and also about myself.. but still i couldn't figure out who i am..a champion, who would win.. a conqueror, who would dominate.. a god, who would rule.. or maybe just a cipher, who would elude.. a wimp, who would crawl.. a nobody, who would be crushed.. i always wondered whether i'd be a hero or a zero..
now, as you enter my life, you would read this word, 'freedom'.. and it will be repeated as u descend in me (or ascend depending on which way u're going – in or out of my life).. freedom is my essence.. my fundamental nature.. everything you need to know about me is right there in this word.. i'm not invincible, but i ain't pathetic.. i'm not correct, but i ain't invalid.. i find pleasure as i will and put up with discomfort as i must.. i'm the result of each individual experience i ever had.. each tangled with every other one, forming a wild living thing.. my worst experiences exist alongside my best.. until telling which root from which is impossible.. everything combines to make me who i am..
i put myself out there on display for other people to experience, and maybe enjoy.. i display my art, along with my madness.. i display my insight, along with my lunacy.. i display my inner-most self through my writing.. i have my share of diplomacy, although i hate politics.. i have my share of friends, although i hate people.. but there is still more in there that is unlabeled.. there just ain’t no words to describe those hidden undiscovered territories in me.. u have to get close to them, touch them, and feel them to get to know them.. and i'm sure they will leave u with an impression that will be marked in u forever.. i'm sure of that cuz i do it myself.. every once in a while, i explore and dig out those concealed parts of me that has grown and matured.. sometimes when they are much too fragile rather than bringing them out, i go inside to sit with them.. sometimes i blow on them with my own breath hard enough to stir them into flight.. or i just stand back and observe while the winds of change storm over them provoking them into a state of eruption.. yeah, that feeling of letting nature take its course with something so much virgin and deep within u is eerie, but it is strangely reassuring..
u know, i always wanted so desperately to cling to something, but all that's around me is just so frail that if i try to grab any, i end up with only a handful of nothing.. but again, my memories are just memories.. my dreams are just dreams.. after all, i’m a human, wild and free..
and heinz…
u endure faithfully.. despite people-poisonings, u will continue to thrive.. u will bloom even between rocks.. u will flourish even through times of difficulty.. and u will merge troubles into smiles so bright and colorful as u always did.. u will always have the will and power to look me in the eyes and blow me a soft kiss sending beautiful wishes and happy thoughts into my world.. after all, u’re a human, wild and free..
